Entry #20
I've been so erratic with my posts. It seems I should make some kind of commitment to post a certain number of times per week, but am hesitant to do that. Sometimes there just doesn't seem much to write about.
A couple of days ago I was doing some reading in a little daily devotional magazine entitled "Magnificat". It has hymns, daily morning, evening and Mass prayers, as well as Bible readings, reflections, and interesting stories about different saints. On Thursday the song for morning prayer had the lines "Let us throw off all that hinders; Let us run the race to win!" All through my morning prayer and Bible reading time I couldn't get those lines out of my head. They made me face a truth in my life.
For most of my life I've put forth just enough effort at what I do to get the job done, but not much more. I'm embarassed to admit that, but it's true. I could have done much better in high school and college had I wanted to put more effort in my studies. With the exception of math, school came fairly easy to me and as long as I passed my classes, that's all I cared about.
When I started teaching I did put much more of myself into my work. It would be very hard to stay in this profession if you aren't willing to go the extra mile for the kids. Also, working all but one of my 23 years as a teacher in small schools, it was necessary to pitch in on almost all school projects. When there was something to be done, there usually wasn't a committee appointed. The teaching staff was the committee!
After thinking and journaling about the lines from that song I decided to live them to the best of my ability, especially in the area of exercise. So far I've been very disciplined about going in to the gym five days a week. I started using the weight machines a few weeks ago and felt that was good enough for now. But, if winning this particular race is truly important to me, it will be necessary to put much more effort into my workouts than I am currently giving.
So, I've started adding a bit more weight to the machines and added the elliptical to my cardio workout. My goal for the elliptical is to be up to 15 minutes by the end of next month. I started out at 5 minutes at level 2 and yesterday I put in 8 minutes at level 2. My goal for the treadmill is to walk at 3.4 mph for 45 minutes non-stop. I'm up to 25 minutes at 3.4 mph and the remaining 20 at 3.2mph. Eventually I want to start running on the treadmill, but that will have to wait until more weight comes off so as not to damage my knees.
In 2Timothy, St. Paul writes about having fought the good fight and having finished the race. He, of course, is talking about keeping true to his faith and his work of spreading the Gospel. There is a fight I'm involved in and my own race to be run. I pray for the strength and discipline to run to win this race.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Setting Goals
Entry #19
Weight 233 lbs. Loss of 1.5 pounds. Total loss of 26 pounds.
I actually weighed yesterday, but didn't post. I'm happy with this loss. As long as the numbers keep going down, I'm a happy camper.
This morning I read my little calendar and the quote was all about setting goals. A few posts ago I wrote about my need to do that, so I set down a few short term goals.
*Weight: By October 31st I will have lost ten more pounds. This should be possible, if I continue to plug away.
*Exercise: By October 31st I will be on the elliptical machine for 15 minutes and the treadmill for 45 minutes at 3.4 miles per hour the entire time. This morning I was on the elliptical for 7 minutes and spent 20 of the 45 minutes on the treadmill at 3.4 miles per hour. This goal is one I should be able to meet.
*Home: By October 31st I will have my living room walls decorated. I've lived in my condo for over five years now and only have two small things on my walls! I'm hesitant to put holes in the walls and then not like what I've hung. How silly is that?
By October 31st I will have my spare bedroom cleaned up. This is the room that I just open the door and throw stuff into when I either don't know what to do with it or I'm too lazy to put it away.
By October 31st I will have my garage cleaned up. My garage has been a mess for over a year now. Cleaning it up was a goal I had set for myself for this past summer and somehow it just didn't get done.
*Friends: Before the month of September has passed I will get together with my friends from church at least once.
So now comes the efforts to meet these goals. There are so many more I could have listed but this is a good start.
Weight 233 lbs. Loss of 1.5 pounds. Total loss of 26 pounds.
I actually weighed yesterday, but didn't post. I'm happy with this loss. As long as the numbers keep going down, I'm a happy camper.
This morning I read my little calendar and the quote was all about setting goals. A few posts ago I wrote about my need to do that, so I set down a few short term goals.
*Weight: By October 31st I will have lost ten more pounds. This should be possible, if I continue to plug away.
*Exercise: By October 31st I will be on the elliptical machine for 15 minutes and the treadmill for 45 minutes at 3.4 miles per hour the entire time. This morning I was on the elliptical for 7 minutes and spent 20 of the 45 minutes on the treadmill at 3.4 miles per hour. This goal is one I should be able to meet.
*Home: By October 31st I will have my living room walls decorated. I've lived in my condo for over five years now and only have two small things on my walls! I'm hesitant to put holes in the walls and then not like what I've hung. How silly is that?
By October 31st I will have my spare bedroom cleaned up. This is the room that I just open the door and throw stuff into when I either don't know what to do with it or I'm too lazy to put it away.
By October 31st I will have my garage cleaned up. My garage has been a mess for over a year now. Cleaning it up was a goal I had set for myself for this past summer and somehow it just didn't get done.
*Friends: Before the month of September has passed I will get together with my friends from church at least once.
So now comes the efforts to meet these goals. There are so many more I could have listed but this is a good start.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Losing My Fear
Entry #18
"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." (Joseph Chilton Pearce)
Pearce is an author of a variety of types of books, including many on children and their development. I liked this quote because I believe it to be true. I also like it because a friend of mine has had the courage to put her creativity out in public for anyone and everyone to see and, thereby open herself up to criticism, both positive and possibly negative.
Last night (Sept. 3) I attended an art show where my friend Mary displayed some of the paintings she's painted over the last few years. Before going I had decided not to buy anything. I was there to just enjoy her art and give her some moral support. I walked into the little cafe and was immediately greeted by her two sisters and then Mary herself. It was so nice to see them and Mary's husband, Joe, again after a long time. While looking at all of the paintings what struck me was not so much whether they appealed to me or not. The questions that ran through my mind were: Where do you get the inspiration for your work? How do you overcome fear of rejection and have the courage to put yourself "out there"? I did ask Mary the first question, but not the second one. It seems she just lets the colors that appeal to her guide her art and expression. Her paintings are abstract and are all very dramatic.
As to the second question, I wish I had asked it. Fear of failure, rejection, criticism, etc. has pretty much dictated my actions most of my life. I'm not artistically gifted, or graceful and light on my feet, and my singing voice wouldn't cause Carrie Underwood any sleepless nights. Becoming a famous artist, dancer, or singer are big dreams and not many people who try for them are successful. Even though I never aspired to be anything as dramatic as an artist, dancer, or singer, even simpler dreams seemed out of reach for me. Dreams such as being married.
I've always blamed my not being married on my weight and how I looked because of it. The truth is I didn't go out of my way to meet men out of fear of being rejected because of my appearance. Odds are that, if I had put myself "out there", I would have been rejected on some occasions, but certainly not all. However, I let the fear of a few possible rejections keep me from socializing and doing the normal stuff teenage and twenty-something young women do to attract the opposite sex.
The same has been true as far as weight loss is concerned. I have talked myself out of beginning a weight loss/exercise regimen because it seems like they all end in failure. Why even try, if I know that in the end I'll be right back where I started and likely have a few extra pounds to boot. Of course, the fact that it's so much easier to just keep eating also played a role in not starting.
This time things are different. Somewhere I found the guts to begin writing a public blog telling anyone who reads it that I plan to be thin someday in the near future. If it takes me two years or ten years doesn't matter. I will get there. I am beginning now to feel the progress in my weight loss and exercise in the way my clothes fit. And yesterday my sister Christine asked me how much weight I had lost. She noticed how much thinner my face looks now. I'm on a roll and looking forward to my future successes. On second thought, maybe Carrie should think about buying some Sominex and Sleepytime Tea.
P.S. I did buy a painting last night. There was one done with greens, yellows and coffee grounds that jumped out at me. It made me think of the New York City skyline the instant I saw it. It will look beautiful on my living room wall.
"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." (Joseph Chilton Pearce)
Pearce is an author of a variety of types of books, including many on children and their development. I liked this quote because I believe it to be true. I also like it because a friend of mine has had the courage to put her creativity out in public for anyone and everyone to see and, thereby open herself up to criticism, both positive and possibly negative.
Last night (Sept. 3) I attended an art show where my friend Mary displayed some of the paintings she's painted over the last few years. Before going I had decided not to buy anything. I was there to just enjoy her art and give her some moral support. I walked into the little cafe and was immediately greeted by her two sisters and then Mary herself. It was so nice to see them and Mary's husband, Joe, again after a long time. While looking at all of the paintings what struck me was not so much whether they appealed to me or not. The questions that ran through my mind were: Where do you get the inspiration for your work? How do you overcome fear of rejection and have the courage to put yourself "out there"? I did ask Mary the first question, but not the second one. It seems she just lets the colors that appeal to her guide her art and expression. Her paintings are abstract and are all very dramatic.
As to the second question, I wish I had asked it. Fear of failure, rejection, criticism, etc. has pretty much dictated my actions most of my life. I'm not artistically gifted, or graceful and light on my feet, and my singing voice wouldn't cause Carrie Underwood any sleepless nights. Becoming a famous artist, dancer, or singer are big dreams and not many people who try for them are successful. Even though I never aspired to be anything as dramatic as an artist, dancer, or singer, even simpler dreams seemed out of reach for me. Dreams such as being married.
I've always blamed my not being married on my weight and how I looked because of it. The truth is I didn't go out of my way to meet men out of fear of being rejected because of my appearance. Odds are that, if I had put myself "out there", I would have been rejected on some occasions, but certainly not all. However, I let the fear of a few possible rejections keep me from socializing and doing the normal stuff teenage and twenty-something young women do to attract the opposite sex.
The same has been true as far as weight loss is concerned. I have talked myself out of beginning a weight loss/exercise regimen because it seems like they all end in failure. Why even try, if I know that in the end I'll be right back where I started and likely have a few extra pounds to boot. Of course, the fact that it's so much easier to just keep eating also played a role in not starting.
This time things are different. Somewhere I found the guts to begin writing a public blog telling anyone who reads it that I plan to be thin someday in the near future. If it takes me two years or ten years doesn't matter. I will get there. I am beginning now to feel the progress in my weight loss and exercise in the way my clothes fit. And yesterday my sister Christine asked me how much weight I had lost. She noticed how much thinner my face looks now. I'm on a roll and looking forward to my future successes. On second thought, maybe Carrie should think about buying some Sominex and Sleepytime Tea.
P.S. I did buy a painting last night. There was one done with greens, yellows and coffee grounds that jumped out at me. It made me think of the New York City skyline the instant I saw it. It will look beautiful on my living room wall.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Entry #17
Weight 234.5 Loss of 3.5 pounds!!!
Monday, August 30, 2010
I was very pleasantly surprised by my weight loss this past week, especially after my slip-up of Friday night. But I am thankful that it didn't derail me as it might have done in the past.
Early this morning I checked Kenz's blog and she is hosting something called Friend Makin' Monday. It's a series of prompts which the blogger finishes. I thought it would be interesting to use at least some of the prompts, so here goes.
I like...to read. Unfortunately, during the school year I don't have much time to do it. My favorites are historical fiction and anything set in New England or the South.
I don't like...spending time in the morning doing my hair and makeup. I spend about a hundred dollars once a year getting a perm so all I have to do is wash, condition, comb and mousse my hair in the morning. The only makeup I wear on a regular basis is mascara. I'm getting a little better about spending more time on my hair. Recently I got it cut and most of the perm is gone, so I need to spend a little quality time with the curling iron.
I love...my family, friends, and the ocean. I wrote in an earlier blog about my growing desire to spend time with my family and the need to see my friends on a more regular basis. My favorite season is fall. I love the cool weather and the beautiful leaves that change color. The ocean has always been my favorite place to visit. I am in awe of its beauty and power.
I wonder...what I will look like when the weight is finally off. I've never been a "normal" weight, at least not that I can remember. I'm looking forward to seeing what that looks like.
I know...this weight loss will take a long time. It will be a slow process and I need to acknowledge and accept that. Sometimes it's discouraging to see how far I have to go to get to my goal, but it would be so much more worse to stop and then have to start again at an even heavier weight.
I went...to a friend's 40th birthday party last Saturday night. It was so much fun to see friends that I haven't seen in years. The food was good and the best part was that I was able to enjoy eating a good dinner, including dessert and not feel guilty about any of it.
I want...eating healthy to become second nature for me. It's been very time consuming planning what I will eat and then adding up the calories. It is getting easier the more I do it, though.
I need...to increase the intensity of my morning workouts and add at least Saturday to the schedule. Right now I only go in Monday through Friday. I've been gradually adding more weight machines to my workout and the elliptical machine to my cardio time. However, I still need to push myself more than I am right now.
I am...much more positive toward myself and my weight loss.
I am not...going to give up and live the life of hiding, eating and watching television again.
Weight 234.5 Loss of 3.5 pounds!!!
Monday, August 30, 2010
I was very pleasantly surprised by my weight loss this past week, especially after my slip-up of Friday night. But I am thankful that it didn't derail me as it might have done in the past.
Early this morning I checked Kenz's blog and she is hosting something called Friend Makin' Monday. It's a series of prompts which the blogger finishes. I thought it would be interesting to use at least some of the prompts, so here goes.
I like...to read. Unfortunately, during the school year I don't have much time to do it. My favorites are historical fiction and anything set in New England or the South.
I don't like...spending time in the morning doing my hair and makeup. I spend about a hundred dollars once a year getting a perm so all I have to do is wash, condition, comb and mousse my hair in the morning. The only makeup I wear on a regular basis is mascara. I'm getting a little better about spending more time on my hair. Recently I got it cut and most of the perm is gone, so I need to spend a little quality time with the curling iron.
I love...my family, friends, and the ocean. I wrote in an earlier blog about my growing desire to spend time with my family and the need to see my friends on a more regular basis. My favorite season is fall. I love the cool weather and the beautiful leaves that change color. The ocean has always been my favorite place to visit. I am in awe of its beauty and power.
I wonder...what I will look like when the weight is finally off. I've never been a "normal" weight, at least not that I can remember. I'm looking forward to seeing what that looks like.
I know...this weight loss will take a long time. It will be a slow process and I need to acknowledge and accept that. Sometimes it's discouraging to see how far I have to go to get to my goal, but it would be so much more worse to stop and then have to start again at an even heavier weight.
I went...to a friend's 40th birthday party last Saturday night. It was so much fun to see friends that I haven't seen in years. The food was good and the best part was that I was able to enjoy eating a good dinner, including dessert and not feel guilty about any of it.
I want...eating healthy to become second nature for me. It's been very time consuming planning what I will eat and then adding up the calories. It is getting easier the more I do it, though.
I need...to increase the intensity of my morning workouts and add at least Saturday to the schedule. Right now I only go in Monday through Friday. I've been gradually adding more weight machines to my workout and the elliptical machine to my cardio time. However, I still need to push myself more than I am right now.
I am...much more positive toward myself and my weight loss.
I am not...going to give up and live the life of hiding, eating and watching television again.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Good 'Ol Elbert
Entry #16 " There is no failure except in no longer trying." (Elbert Hubbard)
I found this quote on a little calendar I bought last year. Every day there is a quote by a famous and sometimes not so famous person. I looked Hubbard up on Google and found he was an author in the 19th and early 20th centuries. He founded a school for creative types that drew people from around the world. He and his second wife died when their cruise ship, The Lusitania, was sunk by a German u-boat in WWI.
The quote is a good one for anyone trying to achieve a goal. It's especially good for me as I view trying and not succeeding right away as failure after which I usually give up the effort. But as stated in a previous post, perseverance is now one of my favorite words. Good thing, too, as last night wasn't a rousing success.
My mom and I went to dinner at a Chinese place. I was actually very good about what I ordered and ate at the restuarant. We ordered honey walnut prawns, mu shu chicken and pork fried rice. I ate two mu shu pancakes, about a cup of rice and one of my mom's prawns. I ate until I was satisfied and stopped. I decided to take the leftover chicken mixture and a half cup of rice home to add to scrambled eggs for a couple of breakfasts. So far so good.
Now, I don't know if the old saying that Chinese food doesn't stay with you is true or not, but along about 9:00 I was feeling hungry. Since my calorie allotment for the day had been used and exceeded by about 50 I decided I wasn't going to blow my diet. Yeah, well I should have gone to bed right then and there. I was online reading different weight loss blogs and at around 9:30 decided to go to bed. As I was passing the kitchen the thought of having "just a bite" of the chicken floated through my mind. I took a bite and then another and another and, well I think you probably know how that ended. Good thing there was only about a cup and a half of the stuff left.
But my indiscretion didn't end there. Earlier I was tempted to eat a Skinny Cow ice cream bar (100 calories) even though I knew my calorie bank for the day was depleted. Well, now that I'd already gone way over 1200 calories, why not just go ahead and have that darn ice cream bar? I didn't even pretend to put up a fight. So yesterday's calories hovered between 1400 and 1500 calories.
Now for the good news. Today I got up and pretended that last night never happened. I was able to go back and eat a good, low calorie breakfast and lunch. I had to, because tonight I'm going to a friend's 40th birthday party. At this time I've got about 650 calories left for the day, so if I am careful, I can enjoy some good food choices and stay at 1200 for the day.
I am so grateful that I can view last night as a couple of mistakes instead of a failure. Elbert is right. There is no shame in trying and not making it. The failure comes in not even trying for fear of failure. The not trying is a failure in itself. It's a failure to put myself out there and risking whatever comes my way. Hopefully, those days are in the past for me. I know I will continue to pray and trust that God has good plans ahead for my life.
I found this quote on a little calendar I bought last year. Every day there is a quote by a famous and sometimes not so famous person. I looked Hubbard up on Google and found he was an author in the 19th and early 20th centuries. He founded a school for creative types that drew people from around the world. He and his second wife died when their cruise ship, The Lusitania, was sunk by a German u-boat in WWI.
The quote is a good one for anyone trying to achieve a goal. It's especially good for me as I view trying and not succeeding right away as failure after which I usually give up the effort. But as stated in a previous post, perseverance is now one of my favorite words. Good thing, too, as last night wasn't a rousing success.
My mom and I went to dinner at a Chinese place. I was actually very good about what I ordered and ate at the restuarant. We ordered honey walnut prawns, mu shu chicken and pork fried rice. I ate two mu shu pancakes, about a cup of rice and one of my mom's prawns. I ate until I was satisfied and stopped. I decided to take the leftover chicken mixture and a half cup of rice home to add to scrambled eggs for a couple of breakfasts. So far so good.
Now, I don't know if the old saying that Chinese food doesn't stay with you is true or not, but along about 9:00 I was feeling hungry. Since my calorie allotment for the day had been used and exceeded by about 50 I decided I wasn't going to blow my diet. Yeah, well I should have gone to bed right then and there. I was online reading different weight loss blogs and at around 9:30 decided to go to bed. As I was passing the kitchen the thought of having "just a bite" of the chicken floated through my mind. I took a bite and then another and another and, well I think you probably know how that ended. Good thing there was only about a cup and a half of the stuff left.
But my indiscretion didn't end there. Earlier I was tempted to eat a Skinny Cow ice cream bar (100 calories) even though I knew my calorie bank for the day was depleted. Well, now that I'd already gone way over 1200 calories, why not just go ahead and have that darn ice cream bar? I didn't even pretend to put up a fight. So yesterday's calories hovered between 1400 and 1500 calories.
Now for the good news. Today I got up and pretended that last night never happened. I was able to go back and eat a good, low calorie breakfast and lunch. I had to, because tonight I'm going to a friend's 40th birthday party. At this time I've got about 650 calories left for the day, so if I am careful, I can enjoy some good food choices and stay at 1200 for the day.
I am so grateful that I can view last night as a couple of mistakes instead of a failure. Elbert is right. There is no shame in trying and not making it. The failure comes in not even trying for fear of failure. The not trying is a failure in itself. It's a failure to put myself out there and risking whatever comes my way. Hopefully, those days are in the past for me. I know I will continue to pray and trust that God has good plans ahead for my life.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
My Least Favorite Season
Entry #15
Summer is definitely NOT my favorite season. Although this summer has been the mildest I can remember, it seems Mother Nature is making up for lost time in a big way. I've heard it's supposed to "cool" down to around 97 tomorrow and then the weekend is supposed to be in the 70's. I'm looking forward to the weekend!
I've always had a hard time with summer. When I was a kid I loved school and didn't like summer vacations all that much. I rarely saw my friends over the summer and there were always plenty of chores to help with around the house. Not to mention the almond harvest which was sheer torture for about a month. Dad had 160 trees and he did things the old fashioned way. He'd climb the trees with a big rubber mallet and knock the branches to get the nuts off of them. The nuts would fall into tarps he'd laid on the ground. Then us kids would have to rake the almonds into piles, then put them in buckets and pour the nuts into gunny sacks. The whole business was filthy. We'd be sweating because of the heat, then the almond dust would stick to us and make us itch. I was so happy when I got old enough to stay in the house and help Mom with the canning of vegetables.
My Dad could eat anything he wanted and as much of it as he wanted and never gain a pound. The reason for that, I suppose, is that he did lots of physical work around our place which provided him with plenty of exercise. I remember him going through an old trunk and finding his Navy uniform. The last time he'd worn it he was about nineteen. (He lied about his age and enlisted to fight in WWII at the age of 16.) When he found it in the trunk he was either in his late thirties or early forties. He put the damn thing on and it fit him perfectly!
Unfortunately I didn't inherit my Dad's ability to eat anything he wanted or his penchant for hard physical labor. I would look at cupcakes and put on five pounds and always preferred television to exercise. Now it's come time to pay the piper. Every day that I make myself get up and go to the gym is a victory over my natural state of laziness. Sometimes it's a real struggle to get my exercise in and just about any excuse will do to just stay home. Just as sometimes I would use any excuse to eat junk food, I'll use any excuse to skip my time at the gym. There have been mornings when I've driven to the gym and left because the person opening the doors (my gym opens at 4 a.m.) wasn't there on time. I could have waited a few minutes, but didn't. That doesn't happen very often anymore. I'm determined to take this weight off and it's slowly sinking in that it's going to be a very long, hard road. But this time I'll do it and it will all be worth the work and sweat.
Summer is definitely NOT my favorite season. Although this summer has been the mildest I can remember, it seems Mother Nature is making up for lost time in a big way. I've heard it's supposed to "cool" down to around 97 tomorrow and then the weekend is supposed to be in the 70's. I'm looking forward to the weekend!
I've always had a hard time with summer. When I was a kid I loved school and didn't like summer vacations all that much. I rarely saw my friends over the summer and there were always plenty of chores to help with around the house. Not to mention the almond harvest which was sheer torture for about a month. Dad had 160 trees and he did things the old fashioned way. He'd climb the trees with a big rubber mallet and knock the branches to get the nuts off of them. The nuts would fall into tarps he'd laid on the ground. Then us kids would have to rake the almonds into piles, then put them in buckets and pour the nuts into gunny sacks. The whole business was filthy. We'd be sweating because of the heat, then the almond dust would stick to us and make us itch. I was so happy when I got old enough to stay in the house and help Mom with the canning of vegetables.
My Dad could eat anything he wanted and as much of it as he wanted and never gain a pound. The reason for that, I suppose, is that he did lots of physical work around our place which provided him with plenty of exercise. I remember him going through an old trunk and finding his Navy uniform. The last time he'd worn it he was about nineteen. (He lied about his age and enlisted to fight in WWII at the age of 16.) When he found it in the trunk he was either in his late thirties or early forties. He put the damn thing on and it fit him perfectly!
Unfortunately I didn't inherit my Dad's ability to eat anything he wanted or his penchant for hard physical labor. I would look at cupcakes and put on five pounds and always preferred television to exercise. Now it's come time to pay the piper. Every day that I make myself get up and go to the gym is a victory over my natural state of laziness. Sometimes it's a real struggle to get my exercise in and just about any excuse will do to just stay home. Just as sometimes I would use any excuse to eat junk food, I'll use any excuse to skip my time at the gym. There have been mornings when I've driven to the gym and left because the person opening the doors (my gym opens at 4 a.m.) wasn't there on time. I could have waited a few minutes, but didn't. That doesn't happen very often anymore. I'm determined to take this weight off and it's slowly sinking in that it's going to be a very long, hard road. But this time I'll do it and it will all be worth the work and sweat.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Twenty-One Pounds Gone!
Entry #14
Weight 238 pounds. Loss of 3.5 pounds. Total loss of 21 pounds.
Very happy with Monday's weigh in. It was more than I expected, so it was a nice surprise. I guess I need to stop "expecting" anything and just keep plugging along.
My negative voice still creeps in every now and then asking me just how long I think I can keep this up without going off the deep end in a binge. At times this past week a binge started to sound pretty good. I found myself thinking about having a fast food, drive thru meal topped off with ice cream and maybe a candy bar or two. The feeling I had while thinking about this was almost nostalgic. It's been over a month since I stopped eating that way, but it feels like it's been a lot longer.
When reading the blog of Sean Anderson, who has lost over two hundred pounds and is close to his goal, I've noticed words like "focus" and "determination" crop up alot. To achieve the kind of success he has, I suppose, those are two attributes he has in abundance. They are necessary to the success of anything worthwhile. One of my problems has always been a lack of focus when it comes to my weight and, to a certain extent, my personal life. I've never really set goals for myself. When there's no goal, it's hard to be determined and maintain a focus. Even now, I don't have a real "goal weight". I think I'd like to get down to 125 or 130, but that may be unrealistic. I think that would be a good question the next time I see my doctor. He can give me some idea of what a healthy weight would be for me.
My blogging will most likely be rather sporadic as it's hard to keep it up now that school's in session again. Still, I'm going to shoot for at least twice a week. I'll make that my "focus".
Weight 238 pounds. Loss of 3.5 pounds. Total loss of 21 pounds.
Very happy with Monday's weigh in. It was more than I expected, so it was a nice surprise. I guess I need to stop "expecting" anything and just keep plugging along.
My negative voice still creeps in every now and then asking me just how long I think I can keep this up without going off the deep end in a binge. At times this past week a binge started to sound pretty good. I found myself thinking about having a fast food, drive thru meal topped off with ice cream and maybe a candy bar or two. The feeling I had while thinking about this was almost nostalgic. It's been over a month since I stopped eating that way, but it feels like it's been a lot longer.
When reading the blog of Sean Anderson, who has lost over two hundred pounds and is close to his goal, I've noticed words like "focus" and "determination" crop up alot. To achieve the kind of success he has, I suppose, those are two attributes he has in abundance. They are necessary to the success of anything worthwhile. One of my problems has always been a lack of focus when it comes to my weight and, to a certain extent, my personal life. I've never really set goals for myself. When there's no goal, it's hard to be determined and maintain a focus. Even now, I don't have a real "goal weight". I think I'd like to get down to 125 or 130, but that may be unrealistic. I think that would be a good question the next time I see my doctor. He can give me some idea of what a healthy weight would be for me.
My blogging will most likely be rather sporadic as it's hard to keep it up now that school's in session again. Still, I'm going to shoot for at least twice a week. I'll make that my "focus".
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