Entry #13
It's been almost a week since posting. I feel bad about not writing more, but since school has started up again, my time is very limited.
Today was kind of hard. I attended a religious conference where Father Benedict Groeschel was the speaker. He's one of my favorite speakers, someone who can get a point across with a great sense of humor. He's 77 years old and very frail now, but still very enjoyable.
Lunch was included in the price of my ticket and it wasn't exactly a dieter's delight. There was a turkey and jack cheese sandwich, a bag of potato chips, cup of fruit cocktail (yuck!) and a chocolate chip cookie. I was very hungry so I knew I would eat the whole sandwich. The chips were 230 calories but I also ate those. The cookie I put away until later. Although I didn't know exact amounts, I decided to count the lunch as 500 calories. That's probably pretty safe.
Later I ate the cookie while driving to Mass. As I was enjoying every morsel of that cookie old thoughts came flooding through my mind. I've had these thoughts every time I stray from a diet and enjoy a treat. The thoughts tell me that I've blown my diet and what's the use depriving myself the rest of the day? There's always tomorrow to go back on the diet.
As these thoughts were going through my mind I reminded myself that I had accounted for the cookie in the 500 calories I allotted to the lunch. But I was looking for an excuse to eat more junk food so I chose to ignore that fact. It was a real struggle not to give in and binge. Reminding myself of how much I've accomplished in the past month helped and it was enough to keep me from buying more junk food to finish off later tonight.
It is so necessary to almost constantly remind myself that I am making progress and that, even though it will take a long time and lots of patience, I will make it to goal. I just have to want it more than I want the temporary comfort of a fast food fix. Sometimes I'm not so sure I do. It's easy to get discouraged when I see myself in a mirror or try on clothes that are the same size as when I began this diet. What's necessary is perseverance and that's not always been part of my vocabulary. I'm working on making it my favorite word.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
A New School Year
Entry #12
Weight 241.5 pounds. Loss of 3 pounds. Total loss 17.5 pounds.
To be perfectly honest, I wasn't happy with my weight loss this time. I should be thrilled about dropping three pounds after losing three the week before. I guess an explanation for my ingratitude is in order.
Last week I began packing up stuff in my classroom at Dent School in the hopes that I would be moving back to Van Allen School. I spent all of last week bending, stretching, lifting, walking to move from one classroom to another and then set up my new room. I figured with all the extra exercise I did I would lose at least five pounds. Oh well, I guess my age is catching up with me. It's going to be much harder to lose weight this time around.
The last few days of last week I didn't count calories and may have gone over 1200 sometimes. I had to set priorities and those were getting my classroom ready for the opening of school today. Now I have to get back to the discipline of counting, weighing and measuring. This is most likely one reason I didn't do as well as I thought I would.
The other reason could be that I need to build more muscle. In one of my previous blogs I wrote about hating to use the weight machines. However, I need to grow up and do the unpleasant stuff. So this week I think I will increase my time on the machines and lessen the time I'm on the treadmill.
The first day of school went well. I've got 21 kindergartners. Little ones are so much fun to work with. Everything excites them and they are so willing to participate. They're not too cool to sing along with "Zippedee Do Dah" and do silly stuff. Today we listened to the story "The Gingerbread Man" and I made a giant gingerbread man cookie. Of course, he "escaped" from the oven and we had to search for him all over the school. Later in the afternoon we found him hiding in one of my cupboards. I cut him up and gave him to the kids to eat. I tried a little bite but gave the leftover cookie to my niece. It's getting harder to pass up stuff like this.
Our nice, cool summer came to a screeching halt today. Naturally, the temperature has to jump up when school starts. Thank goodness for air conditioning. It occurred to me that next year at this time I will hopefully be at least fifty pounds lighter and the heat won't get to me as much. It's no fun to be sweating your make-up off at 9:00 in the morning. I go through this every year at the beginning of school. "Next year I'll be thinner and will be able to take the heat better." And every year I'm heavier than the last. I am determined that this time I will succeed.
Weight 241.5 pounds. Loss of 3 pounds. Total loss 17.5 pounds.
To be perfectly honest, I wasn't happy with my weight loss this time. I should be thrilled about dropping three pounds after losing three the week before. I guess an explanation for my ingratitude is in order.
Last week I began packing up stuff in my classroom at Dent School in the hopes that I would be moving back to Van Allen School. I spent all of last week bending, stretching, lifting, walking to move from one classroom to another and then set up my new room. I figured with all the extra exercise I did I would lose at least five pounds. Oh well, I guess my age is catching up with me. It's going to be much harder to lose weight this time around.
The last few days of last week I didn't count calories and may have gone over 1200 sometimes. I had to set priorities and those were getting my classroom ready for the opening of school today. Now I have to get back to the discipline of counting, weighing and measuring. This is most likely one reason I didn't do as well as I thought I would.
The other reason could be that I need to build more muscle. In one of my previous blogs I wrote about hating to use the weight machines. However, I need to grow up and do the unpleasant stuff. So this week I think I will increase my time on the machines and lessen the time I'm on the treadmill.
The first day of school went well. I've got 21 kindergartners. Little ones are so much fun to work with. Everything excites them and they are so willing to participate. They're not too cool to sing along with "Zippedee Do Dah" and do silly stuff. Today we listened to the story "The Gingerbread Man" and I made a giant gingerbread man cookie. Of course, he "escaped" from the oven and we had to search for him all over the school. Later in the afternoon we found him hiding in one of my cupboards. I cut him up and gave him to the kids to eat. I tried a little bite but gave the leftover cookie to my niece. It's getting harder to pass up stuff like this.
Our nice, cool summer came to a screeching halt today. Naturally, the temperature has to jump up when school starts. Thank goodness for air conditioning. It occurred to me that next year at this time I will hopefully be at least fifty pounds lighter and the heat won't get to me as much. It's no fun to be sweating your make-up off at 9:00 in the morning. I go through this every year at the beginning of school. "Next year I'll be thinner and will be able to take the heat better." And every year I'm heavier than the last. I am determined that this time I will succeed.
Monday, August 9, 2010
My Left Hand
Entry #11
Weight 244.5 pounds. Loss of 3.5 pounds! Total loss: 14.5 pounds.
I'm very happy with my loss this past week. Taking in fewer calories and increasing my exercise program and time paid off.
My blogs will most likely decrease, at least for a short time. School is just around the corner and my time is going to be fairly limited. This year is going to be a little different and a tad more stressful, at least in the beginning.
Last year I was transferred from Van Allen School to Dent Elementary School because of fluctuating student numbers. It was a whole new world for me. For 22 years all I'd known in terms of teaching was small, rural schools where the student population didn't reach 200. Now I'm at the "big" school in town and things are very different. The other first grade teachers (there were seven total) were wonderful and the staff was very welcoming and patient with my constant questions. As the year wore on I really liked being there. I had a good class and enjoyed working with other teachers who were teaching the same grade I was.
Last Wednesday it was decided that Van Allen School would be opening up a second kindergarten class. I sent a letter of interest to the District Office letting them know I want to be considered for it. When I received the official notice, the deadline date for people wanting the position was listed as August 13, 2010 at 4:00 p.m. That's the Friday before the beginning of the school year! If I get to move back, I won't have to worry too much about my diet or exercise this weekend. There will be no TIME to eat.
As I wrote that last sentence I realized, though, that the reality may be just the opposite. Just about any time in the past when I had a lot of work to do at school (especially on a weekend), I "rewarded" myself with junk food. I didn't take the time to sit down and eat a real meal. So it was day-long snacking followed by stopping by McDonald's for a drive-thru dinner because, of course, I was way too tired to put something together for dinner.
So, if my weekend is spent moving and setting up a new classroom, I will be sure to plan my lunches and dinners and sit down to eat them. I've found that it's really true that if you eat slowly, you fill up faster and are satisfied with less food. Another tip I read or heard about is to try eating with your non-dominant hand. I'm right-handed so I've been eating with my left hand. It definitely slows down the pace. However, now I'm experiencing another problem. I'm getting really good at eating with my left hand!
Weight 244.5 pounds. Loss of 3.5 pounds! Total loss: 14.5 pounds.
I'm very happy with my loss this past week. Taking in fewer calories and increasing my exercise program and time paid off.
My blogs will most likely decrease, at least for a short time. School is just around the corner and my time is going to be fairly limited. This year is going to be a little different and a tad more stressful, at least in the beginning.
Last year I was transferred from Van Allen School to Dent Elementary School because of fluctuating student numbers. It was a whole new world for me. For 22 years all I'd known in terms of teaching was small, rural schools where the student population didn't reach 200. Now I'm at the "big" school in town and things are very different. The other first grade teachers (there were seven total) were wonderful and the staff was very welcoming and patient with my constant questions. As the year wore on I really liked being there. I had a good class and enjoyed working with other teachers who were teaching the same grade I was.
Last Wednesday it was decided that Van Allen School would be opening up a second kindergarten class. I sent a letter of interest to the District Office letting them know I want to be considered for it. When I received the official notice, the deadline date for people wanting the position was listed as August 13, 2010 at 4:00 p.m. That's the Friday before the beginning of the school year! If I get to move back, I won't have to worry too much about my diet or exercise this weekend. There will be no TIME to eat.
As I wrote that last sentence I realized, though, that the reality may be just the opposite. Just about any time in the past when I had a lot of work to do at school (especially on a weekend), I "rewarded" myself with junk food. I didn't take the time to sit down and eat a real meal. So it was day-long snacking followed by stopping by McDonald's for a drive-thru dinner because, of course, I was way too tired to put something together for dinner.
So, if my weekend is spent moving and setting up a new classroom, I will be sure to plan my lunches and dinners and sit down to eat them. I've found that it's really true that if you eat slowly, you fill up faster and are satisfied with less food. Another tip I read or heard about is to try eating with your non-dominant hand. I'm right-handed so I've been eating with my left hand. It definitely slows down the pace. However, now I'm experiencing another problem. I'm getting really good at eating with my left hand!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Saving a Starving Child in India
Entry #10
Okay, this is no longer any fun. It's 6:05 p.m., I've just finished my dinner and my calorie total for the day so far is 1195. I was really hoping to have a Skinny Cow ice cream tonight, but they are 100 calories each. Do I give in and go over my daily calorie total of 1200 or do I suck it up and stay far far away from the freezer? Even I don't know the answer to that one yet. We'll have to find out in my next blog entry.
Yesterday I fell off the wagon a bit. The first grade teachers at Dent had a morning meeting and then decided to go out to Taco Bell for lunch. I was going to beg off, but decided to join them. There was time to check the menu online before going, so I dashed back to my classroom and did just that. I was surprised to find a number of items on the menu that are very reasonable in terms of calories. I settled on the steak burrito supreme fresca and a side order of rice. This isn't the part where I go headlong off the side of the wagon. That happened when I returned from lunch and went back to my classroom.
Earlier that morning at our meeting one of the teachers was sweet enough to bring some treats. She brought in a big bowl of grapes and some low fat blueberry muffins. As she is unwrapping the muffins she mentions that they are lowfat so I could have one. I had told her a few days prior to this that I was watching calories. I felt badly about turning down the muffin. I wasn't in the least bit hungry but took a small amount of grapes anyway. As the meeting was ending she insisted that we all take a muffin so she didn't have to take them home with her. I decided to take one and save it for breakfast the next morning. Yeah, right.
When I returned from lunch I saw that lonely little muffin sitting among the clutter on my worktable. Without giving it much thought I picked it up and ate it. It was soooooo good. The whole time I'm eating it I'm thinking about how I'm not hungry and shouldn't be doing this. The bright spot in this situation is that my diet wasn't derailed by eating the muffin. Often something as simple as eating a muffin or a single cookie would be enough to decide, "Well, I blew my diet today by eating that cookie/cupcake/candy bar, etc. so what's the use? I'll go back on my diet tomorrow." Of course, "tomorrow" most likely didn't come for a few days or even sometimes, weeks.
My options when offered the muffin the second time were to, again, refuse it, or take it and then throw it away when I got back to my room. I almost did both. But then the guilt factor kicked in. I would have felt badly turning the muffin down the second time, especially after she mentioned bringing them with me in mind. Had I taken one and tossed it, I would have felt guilty about wasting food. We all remember the horror stories our parents told us when we were young about the starving children in India. I wonder how many of them were saved by my eating that muffin?
Okay, this is no longer any fun. It's 6:05 p.m., I've just finished my dinner and my calorie total for the day so far is 1195. I was really hoping to have a Skinny Cow ice cream tonight, but they are 100 calories each. Do I give in and go over my daily calorie total of 1200 or do I suck it up and stay far far away from the freezer? Even I don't know the answer to that one yet. We'll have to find out in my next blog entry.
Yesterday I fell off the wagon a bit. The first grade teachers at Dent had a morning meeting and then decided to go out to Taco Bell for lunch. I was going to beg off, but decided to join them. There was time to check the menu online before going, so I dashed back to my classroom and did just that. I was surprised to find a number of items on the menu that are very reasonable in terms of calories. I settled on the steak burrito supreme fresca and a side order of rice. This isn't the part where I go headlong off the side of the wagon. That happened when I returned from lunch and went back to my classroom.
Earlier that morning at our meeting one of the teachers was sweet enough to bring some treats. She brought in a big bowl of grapes and some low fat blueberry muffins. As she is unwrapping the muffins she mentions that they are lowfat so I could have one. I had told her a few days prior to this that I was watching calories. I felt badly about turning down the muffin. I wasn't in the least bit hungry but took a small amount of grapes anyway. As the meeting was ending she insisted that we all take a muffin so she didn't have to take them home with her. I decided to take one and save it for breakfast the next morning. Yeah, right.
When I returned from lunch I saw that lonely little muffin sitting among the clutter on my worktable. Without giving it much thought I picked it up and ate it. It was soooooo good. The whole time I'm eating it I'm thinking about how I'm not hungry and shouldn't be doing this. The bright spot in this situation is that my diet wasn't derailed by eating the muffin. Often something as simple as eating a muffin or a single cookie would be enough to decide, "Well, I blew my diet today by eating that cookie/cupcake/candy bar, etc. so what's the use? I'll go back on my diet tomorrow." Of course, "tomorrow" most likely didn't come for a few days or even sometimes, weeks.
My options when offered the muffin the second time were to, again, refuse it, or take it and then throw it away when I got back to my room. I almost did both. But then the guilt factor kicked in. I would have felt badly turning the muffin down the second time, especially after she mentioned bringing them with me in mind. Had I taken one and tossed it, I would have felt guilty about wasting food. We all remember the horror stories our parents told us when we were young about the starving children in India. I wonder how many of them were saved by my eating that muffin?
Friday, August 6, 2010
Need a New Name
Entry #9
I just discovered there's another blog with the exact same name as mine! Whoops. Hence the new name, The Kitchen Sink (as in "everything but the kitchen sink"). I decided on that for two reasons. One is that instead of just being about weight loss, exercise, and my struggles and successes with those, other stuff usually creeps in here as well. The second is that the kitchen sink is, well, in the kitchen where my nemesis (aka the refrigerator) also resides.
Yesterday was a good one in terms of diet and exercise. I ate out twice and managed to stick to reasonable choices and portions. Having lunch with a friend I used to teach with was wonderful. It was fun to catch up on what's going on in our lives and respective school sites. I chose the place to eat and it was slim pickins when it came to healthy, low calorie foods. Finally I chose a chicken breast on rye with a side salad. It was very good, but I didn't think about how the bread would be prepared. I was tempted to have it on a ciabatta roll, but decided to save calories and ordered rye instead. I felt so proud of myself ordering the sandwich without mayonaise (which I love on sandwiches). When the waitress brought my sandwich, I noticed it had been grilled (probably in butter). So, I learned a lesson about specifying how I want the sandwich prepared.
Then later it was on to Chevy's to meet up with some friends. My recollection was that we were meeting just for Happy Hour which I planned to spend with a diet drink. But when I got there we ended up ordering dinner. When I asked the waitress for the calorie information for the selections on the menu she pointed to a little flip chart. The writing was so small I could barely make it out. Finally I decided on shrimp and chicken fajitas. They came with beans and rice. I split the portions in half and asked for a to go box at the beginning of my meal so I could get the food off my plate from the start. Now I have lunch for today.
Sometimes it's hard to keep being vigilant about every single thing I put in my mouth, but I know it will be worth it when I reach goal. So, now I need to go and find my calculator so I can add up today's food choice calories. What fun!!!!
I just discovered there's another blog with the exact same name as mine! Whoops. Hence the new name, The Kitchen Sink (as in "everything but the kitchen sink"). I decided on that for two reasons. One is that instead of just being about weight loss, exercise, and my struggles and successes with those, other stuff usually creeps in here as well. The second is that the kitchen sink is, well, in the kitchen where my nemesis (aka the refrigerator) also resides.
Yesterday was a good one in terms of diet and exercise. I ate out twice and managed to stick to reasonable choices and portions. Having lunch with a friend I used to teach with was wonderful. It was fun to catch up on what's going on in our lives and respective school sites. I chose the place to eat and it was slim pickins when it came to healthy, low calorie foods. Finally I chose a chicken breast on rye with a side salad. It was very good, but I didn't think about how the bread would be prepared. I was tempted to have it on a ciabatta roll, but decided to save calories and ordered rye instead. I felt so proud of myself ordering the sandwich without mayonaise (which I love on sandwiches). When the waitress brought my sandwich, I noticed it had been grilled (probably in butter). So, I learned a lesson about specifying how I want the sandwich prepared.
Then later it was on to Chevy's to meet up with some friends. My recollection was that we were meeting just for Happy Hour which I planned to spend with a diet drink. But when I got there we ended up ordering dinner. When I asked the waitress for the calorie information for the selections on the menu she pointed to a little flip chart. The writing was so small I could barely make it out. Finally I decided on shrimp and chicken fajitas. They came with beans and rice. I split the portions in half and asked for a to go box at the beginning of my meal so I could get the food off my plate from the start. Now I have lunch for today.
Sometimes it's hard to keep being vigilant about every single thing I put in my mouth, but I know it will be worth it when I reach goal. So, now I need to go and find my calculator so I can add up today's food choice calories. What fun!!!!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Free Willy
Entry #8
I'm beginning to think that my blogging is kind of a drag. Every time I sit down to write I come up blank in terms of ideas. Does anyone really want to read about my less than stellar life? But, then, the main reason I'm doing this is for a record of my progress and to think through some things that come a little easier when I'm writing.
The past couple of days have been good ones in terms of food and exercise. It's a little more difficult now that I've cut back on the calories. But I didn't expect to have a rip roarin' time at this, after all.
My niece Mallory (5 years old) and nephew Preston (3) have been after me to spend the night at their house for a few weeks now. So last night I did and had so much fun with them. My sister served lasagne and garlic french bread for dinner. I didn't pull out my scale or calorie counting book as I thought that might be a bit much. It wasn't too hard to keep the lasagne serving small, but the battle over whether or not to have the second piece of garlic bread was a bit more difficult. I could very easily make a meal of garlic bread alone. I didn't have the second piece, but might have if I hadn't been beaten to the punch by the kids who shared it. Since I didn't have anywhere near 1200 calories even after eating dinner, I didn't refuse when Christine offered some Baskin & Robbins Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream. The serving was small and it felt good to both enjoy some ice cream and not feel guilty about it.
After dinner it was outside and into the pool. It's so much fun to watch the kids swim. They are both good swimmers for their ages. My nephew is a little fish! We were having a great time and then Mallory suggested we play a game. She wanted to play "Free Willy". Guess who got to be the whale? Oh well, it was great exercise anyway!
I'm beginning to think that my blogging is kind of a drag. Every time I sit down to write I come up blank in terms of ideas. Does anyone really want to read about my less than stellar life? But, then, the main reason I'm doing this is for a record of my progress and to think through some things that come a little easier when I'm writing.
The past couple of days have been good ones in terms of food and exercise. It's a little more difficult now that I've cut back on the calories. But I didn't expect to have a rip roarin' time at this, after all.
My niece Mallory (5 years old) and nephew Preston (3) have been after me to spend the night at their house for a few weeks now. So last night I did and had so much fun with them. My sister served lasagne and garlic french bread for dinner. I didn't pull out my scale or calorie counting book as I thought that might be a bit much. It wasn't too hard to keep the lasagne serving small, but the battle over whether or not to have the second piece of garlic bread was a bit more difficult. I could very easily make a meal of garlic bread alone. I didn't have the second piece, but might have if I hadn't been beaten to the punch by the kids who shared it. Since I didn't have anywhere near 1200 calories even after eating dinner, I didn't refuse when Christine offered some Baskin & Robbins Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream. The serving was small and it felt good to both enjoy some ice cream and not feel guilty about it.
After dinner it was outside and into the pool. It's so much fun to watch the kids swim. They are both good swimmers for their ages. My nephew is a little fish! We were having a great time and then Mallory suggested we play a game. She wanted to play "Free Willy". Guess who got to be the whale? Oh well, it was great exercise anyway!
Monday, August 2, 2010
My Wake Up Call
Entry #7
Weight: 248 lbs. A loss of 1.5 pounds. I'll take it!
Actually, at first glance at the scale this morning I was a bit disappointed by my loss this past week. I've started enough diets to know that the first week of a major shift in eating and exercise always results in a big weight loss and subsequent weeks are smaller. However, I figured that all the exercising I'd done at the gym as well as climbing up and down ladders at school and stretching to put up bulletin boards should count for SOMETHING.
But, when I took the time to sit and really think over the past week I didn't come off as quite the exercising/diet wonder I was picturing in my very fertile imagination. To be really honest, the diet went well last week. However, I was starting to "forget" to write down the 5 measley calories in a bottle of Crystal Light Lemonade (never mind that I may have had two or three in a day) and the 5 little calories in a stick of Juicy Fruit gum. Then the "workout" at the gym where I was only spending 30-35 minutes on the treadmill began to look a little puny. I was a little too cocky about the original weight loss and thought I'd just stick to the same routine. This morning was a definite wake up call.
This week I'm going to cut down the calories to 1200. I was staying between 1200 and 1300 a day. At the gym I'm adding some strength training every day before I hop on the treadmill. I absolutely loathe strength training with weights. Whenever beginning an exercise program in the past I always rationalized putting off working with weights. I'd tell myself I'd just stick to the treadmill until I get back in "the swing of things". Not this time. Besides the fact that these machines build muscle, which in turn burns fat, at my age it is necessary to do these exercises for bone density and strength. And this effort is all about doing what is good for my body.
One thing I've decided to do this time around is reward myself for weight loss. Rewards after each loss of ten pounds sounded good to me. So, I cheated a little and even though I hadn't weighed yet, on Saturday I went to get my hair cut, colored and highlighted. The gal that did my hair lives in Escalon with her husband and three little girls. She knows half of the people I do. I guess I'd better be careful about who/what I talk about in the chair.
Weight: 248 lbs. A loss of 1.5 pounds. I'll take it!
Actually, at first glance at the scale this morning I was a bit disappointed by my loss this past week. I've started enough diets to know that the first week of a major shift in eating and exercise always results in a big weight loss and subsequent weeks are smaller. However, I figured that all the exercising I'd done at the gym as well as climbing up and down ladders at school and stretching to put up bulletin boards should count for SOMETHING.
But, when I took the time to sit and really think over the past week I didn't come off as quite the exercising/diet wonder I was picturing in my very fertile imagination. To be really honest, the diet went well last week. However, I was starting to "forget" to write down the 5 measley calories in a bottle of Crystal Light Lemonade (never mind that I may have had two or three in a day) and the 5 little calories in a stick of Juicy Fruit gum. Then the "workout" at the gym where I was only spending 30-35 minutes on the treadmill began to look a little puny. I was a little too cocky about the original weight loss and thought I'd just stick to the same routine. This morning was a definite wake up call.
This week I'm going to cut down the calories to 1200. I was staying between 1200 and 1300 a day. At the gym I'm adding some strength training every day before I hop on the treadmill. I absolutely loathe strength training with weights. Whenever beginning an exercise program in the past I always rationalized putting off working with weights. I'd tell myself I'd just stick to the treadmill until I get back in "the swing of things". Not this time. Besides the fact that these machines build muscle, which in turn burns fat, at my age it is necessary to do these exercises for bone density and strength. And this effort is all about doing what is good for my body.
One thing I've decided to do this time around is reward myself for weight loss. Rewards after each loss of ten pounds sounded good to me. So, I cheated a little and even though I hadn't weighed yet, on Saturday I went to get my hair cut, colored and highlighted. The gal that did my hair lives in Escalon with her husband and three little girls. She knows half of the people I do. I guess I'd better be careful about who/what I talk about in the chair.
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