Monday, January 31, 2011

Focusing on the Blessings

Post #41
Weight 195 loss of 2.5 pounds

It's been two weeks since I've last posted my weight. Last week I weighed 197.5 which was the same as the week before. Last week I stepped up my cardio workouts and it has paid off. When I remember that last summer I was walking the treadmill at 3.2mph and now am up to 3.9mph for 45 minutes and elevation of 1.0, it's encouraging. My clothes are becoming looser, too. This weekend I should go shopping for some new ones. We'll see after all the bills get paid.

School keeps me so busy during the week that even the thought of blogging at the end of the day makes me tired. I've managed to be disciplined in every other area of my life, but this one. When I get home at the end of the day I'm on my computer almost immediately, but all I do is check my e-mail, my Facebook page and then a jigsaw puzzle site I love to play on. Thinking of stuff to write is just too much work. Besides, my life is pretty mundane. Not much happens that would be interesting to read about. If I could write about the details of my school day, that would be a different matter, but that is off limits due to confidentiality issues. That's too bad, as the kids almost daily do or say something that is funny, touching or frustrating. They keep my life and job from being boring. There's always something happening at school.

Another thing I do on the computer is check out some favorite homemaking blogs I've put in my favorites column. I love to read these to see how the other half lives. The half that, as a young girl, I just assumed I would be a part of. These are women who are wives and mothers, many of them stay at home moms who homeschool their children. They are very creative. I'm not sure why I am drawn to these blogs as their lives are so different from the one I'm living. For some reason there is a yearning there. Maybe it's grief for a life I've always wanted but just wasn't in the cards for me. As I read these now, I just try to enjoy the creativity there and focus on the many blessings I do enjoy in my own life. I've so much to be thankful for.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

No Pain, No Loss

Entry #40

Weight 197.5 Loss of l pound.

The weight continues to come off and I'm grateful for that. Since my big gain right before Christmas I've been doing well with the eating. That is, until this past Monday. The day started off well but my niece Mallory celebrated her birthday on Monday and I just let loose and ate all kinds of stuff I shouldn't have.

People are starting to notice my weight loss and it's nice and uncomfortable at the same time. When others notice and comment on it, for some reason I feel uncomfortable, almost embarassed. I'm not sure why that is. It's always been a little difficult to receive compliments. I'm working on receiving them graciously.

Tonight will present another challenge. Our school has a fundraiser at a local pizza parlor and I'll be there with some of my family. There's not much on the menu that I would normally eat. My plan is to eat a lighter breakfast and lunch and save a few more calories for dinner. I'll have one slice of pizza and a small salad with lowfat dressing. That should be okay as long as I work out every morning, including Saturday and possibly Sunday. Sometimes it's such a pain to have to figure out how to budget calories and eat well. But, as the saying goes, "no pain, no gain". Or in my case, "no pain, no loss".

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Entry #39

Well, I guess it's better late than never. It's been years since I've made any New Year's resolutions. It took too much discipline to stick with them, so they went by the wayside after a few days or weeks. After some thought I've come up with a few things I'd like to accomplish this next year. These are goals to be worked toward more than resolutions.

The first, of course, is to stay on track with diet and exercise. At this time I'm using the weight machines for my upper body only and the elliptical and treadmill for cardio. On the elliptical I spend 15 minutes at level 5. I'm on the treadmill for 45 minutes, incline level 0.5, speed 3.8 mph. At this time I usually bump up the difficulty/speed when I can sustain the current levels with little difficulty. This seems to be working well, so I won't change it for now. I would like to add Saturday and Sunday workouts to my schedule, so this will be a goal.

Reading is one of my favorite things to do. I usually have one or two books going at a time. History, historical fiction and books set in New England or the South interest me, so those are what I usually read. As I was thinking about these goals it came to me that it would be good to challenge myself and read some books about subjects that don't appeal to me. Here's my list:
1. Books written by people on the other side of the political aisle.
2. Science fiction
3. Books written about an aspect of teaching. I usually avoid these books because it feels like I never leave work when I read them at home in "my" time.
4. Sports

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Entry #38

Weight 198.5 Loss of 2 pounds

This was very good news for my Monday morning. For the first time in probably ten years I'm under 200 pounds. This has inspired me to work even harder to reach my goal.

In an earlier post I said I wanted to be at my goal of 120 pounds by next Christmas. I'm not sure that will be possible, but I'm still going to try my best to do it. I'm very thankful to God for helping me stay strong in my weaker moments and to my family and friends who have been encouraging me, including those of you who post comments once in awhile.

Monday, January 3, 2011

A New Year

Entry #37

December 27 Weight 202.5 Loss of 7.5 pounds
January 3 Weight 200.5 Loss of 2 pounds

I've been so bad about keeping this blog up. I wish I could blame it on being busy, but after having two weeks off from school, that would be somewhat less than honest.

I don't know what's been going on with my weight for the past two weeks. I put on over five pounds in a week because I ate so many of the Christmas goodies I baked. Then in one week's time I lost 7 1/2 pounds. During that week I had the stomach flu and didn't eat much of anything for two days and for the rest of the week I was good with my food and exercise. Still, it's hard to believe I could lose that much weight in one week. However, I did step on the scale holding two five pound weights and my weight was correct, so I guess somehow I did lose all that weight.

My loss this past week is a little more believable. I'm so happy to almost be under 200 pounds for the first time in over ten years! I'm looking forward to doing a little clothes shopping maybe next weekend.

With these past two successes also comes struggling with some old familiar bad habits. For some reason I've been having a hard time staying away from snacking between meals. I don't eat a lot, but it's a habit I had curbed for the most part since last summer. Also, I find myself thinking wistfully about going on just a "little" binge. I remember how good it felt to just let go and eat whatever my heart desired in any amount I wanted. Of course, the feelings changed to guilt, disappointment, and depression almost as soon as I'd finished eating. After that I would struggle with trying to go back on a diet which was not usually successful. Thankfully, remembering the bad side of a binge has kept me in check.

The holidays are over again for another year. Once again I did not decorate for Christmas. It's hard to get too excited about decorating for just myself. But I've often wondered why I don't "get in the Christmas spirit" and decorate. After spending some time this year thinking about it I think I may have hit on the reason.

When I was younger and living at home we always decorated for Christmas with a tree and other festive decorations. Then January first came around and the next day all the decorations came down and were packed away for another year. That was always such a difficult and depressing day for me. I think maybe the reason I don't like to decorate is that I don't want to deal with having to take everything down and pack it away as well as the feelings that go along with that. I need to come up with something to be happy about in January. That will take some thought.

Although I gave up making New Year's resolutions years ago, it would be good to set some goals. But I think I'll spend some time thinking about what I want them to be and put them in another post.